DEAR LUMPY: I heard that Gary Player is posing nude in an upcoming ESPN magazine. What do you make of this? —Janice
DEAR JANICE: Congratulations to the "Black Night", he is one of golf's true gentlemen. If I had to lose ESPN's "Body Issue" spread to anyone, I'm glad it was Gary.
DEAR LUMPY: Now that our daughter is off to college, I'd like to convert her rather large room into a putting green, while my wife wants it to be a yoga studio. Any suggestions? —Regards, Brad P.
DEAR DOUG: Usually, I'd say share the room with your wife. It'd be a great way to spend some quality time together, while entertaining BOTH of your interests. But in this case, I'd say NO WAY. I could never concentrate to that crazy yoga music — makes me feel like I'm floating.
DEAR LUMPY: When I drive the ball, I have the worst slice you have ever seen! It starts out like it's shot by a cannon — but at 100 yards it takes a big right turn and usually spins out of bounds. I am 69 years old, 5'9" and weight 173 lbs. —Sincerely, Wheeler H.
DEAR WHEELER: Since your note was not in the form of a question, I'm going to assume it's a statement of how proud you are of this amazing feat. So it is here, that I publicly proclaim Wheeler H. as "Golf's Premier Trick Shot Artist"! If you come across, Wheeler, buy him a beer and send me the check.
DEAR LUMPY: I've been really struggling with my short game. After watching the amazing talent of the Chicago Blackhawks what's your opinion about the saucer pass chipping technique? Or should I try a good old slap shot with my putter? —Thanks, Lisa K.
DEAR LISA: As you may know, I'm from Minnesota, aka. the "State of Hockey", so I'm in favor of integrating anything from hockey. I mean, how cool would it be if tour players grew "rally beards" for the majors?