Andrew Giuliani . . .

Now, to the core of the apple affair . . .

Giuliani's suit says it happened this way: "On February 10, 2008, after a teammate, Brian Kim, twice hit Andrew's hand, knocking an apple to the ground, and slammed a door, hitting Andrew's face, Andrew tossed the apple at the teammate, glancing off the side of Kim's face."

In answer, Duke denies those allegations and claims that Giuliani injured Kim by "throwing an apple at Brian Kim with such force that the apple 'exploded' when it hit Brian Kim in the face, leaving a mark on Brian Kim's face visible a day later." In a motion for dismissal, Duke's lawyers said Giuliani had "physically assaulted" Kim.

Here, as we bounce between silly and serious, there seems to be only one thing to say.

Whoa, Nellie.

There is only one question to ask.

Assault by apple?

Not to be flip, heavens no. But this is Duke, where in 2007 three lacrosse players were finally exonerated of kidnapping and rape charges. And now we're worried about who hit whom how hard with a piece of fruit? Inquiring minds want to know: Red Delicious or Granny Smith?

O.D. Vincent could have told Andrew Giuliani he just wasn't good enough. (A 2007-'08 stroke average of 74.5 ranked him 12th of 14 players.) Nor did recruiting promises to Giuliani by the previous coach, Rod Myers, mean a thing. (Never do. Besides, Myers died March 30, 2007.)

It all befuddles Allan Small. He knows Giuliani well; he has played with and against him. He knows golf administration well; he coached Seton Hall University's golf team from 1991-'95 and is vice president of the Metropolitan Golf Association, which oversees the New York region.

"These are young kids, their hormones are flowing, they compete against each other practically daily to make the tournament teams, they travel together, room together, run together," Small says. "All these egos are colliding constantly. Clearly, things have happened. But, look, if I suspended every kid who did something stupid . . . "

Before this summer's Met Amateur, Small found himself on the practice tee between Giuliani and a Duke star, Michael Quagliano.

"Andrew and Michael used to be good buddies, but now they don't speak," Small says. "I've said a lot of nice things about Andrew, and now Michael barely says hi to me." A sigh. "I wanted so badly to say to these two guys, 'Talk to me for five minutes. Andrew, drop the case. Michael, be the team leader.' "

What Small hears from Duke, he says, is not what he knows of the Giuliani who has played Met events since age 12. "No staff, no committee member, no player that I know has made one comment that Andrew ever did anything inappropriate."

Paul Sliva, the pro at Van Cortlandt Park Golf Course and Giuliani's first coach, loves Giuliani's "work ethic, maturity and discipline." A high school football buddy, Ethan Pickett, called Giuliani "a great teammate who motivated us all."

Because Vincent, his lawyers and current Duke players have refused public comment since the lawsuit was filed, I looked for someone else who might have gotten crossways with Giuliani.

Maybe a caddie? Caddies know all. How about a 40-year-old caddie who'd never met Giuliani before the Met Am and doesn't expect to see him again?

"The caddiemaster said, 'You can handle this,' and put me on Andrew's bag," Shane Lynch says. "Here's how he was. We're walking along the second hole, first day. He puts his arm around me. He says, 'Listen, nothing out here is your fault. If I get mad, it's definitely not at you, it's at me.' Nobody ever said that to me before."

Lynch's day job is a title-insurance examiner. "I told my dad I was caddieing for Andrew Giuliani, and he said, 'Snot-nosed kid.' I said, 'Not at all.' " He worked five rounds for Giuliani. "I'd read a number of articles, and, you ask me, Andrew's the direct opposite of what Duke's claiming."

How about a competitor? Tommy McDonagh is a 19-year-old Penn State sophomore. This summer he beat Giuliani in the Met Am semifinals. They went 21 holes. Two years ago, same tournament, semifinals, McDonagh beat him then, too.

"I always get along with Andrew well," McDonagh says. "He's a nice guy. A great sense of humor. He tells funny golf stories and stories about people he's met." McDonagh said he heard "a lot of the negative, but I always wondered where that came from because it was never my experience."

Giuliani spoke with me in his lawyer's office with the lawyer, Robert Ekstrand, tape-recording the session. We couldn't talk about the case, so we talked about his future. He graduates in May and intends to turn pro soon after. He tried PGA Tour qualifying school in September; at Roseville, Calif., rounds of 73-78-77-71 left him one shot short of qualifying for first-stage play.