Final exam with Brad Garrett

Interviewed By Brian Murphy
Photo: Joey Terrill July 2007

Golf Digest / Your pal Ray Romano began playing in the AT&T at Pebble Beach in 2000. How many times has he made the 54-hole cut?
(Answer: Never.)

Brad Garrett / As many times as Jack Lemmon, I think. Ray plays five days a week; I play once every six weeks. Even at that, he beats me by only 25 strokes. I've been to three instructors, guys who make good money, and they've told me, "I can't help you." That's why on my golf bag I have the words "Swing Fast and Look Up."

GD /Just two days after "Everybody Loves Raymond" premiered (Sept. 13, 1996), what PGA Tour rookie blew a three-shot lead in the final round of the Quad City Classic won by Ed Fiori?
(A: Tiger Woods.)

BG / I know this. Scottie Pippen? No, no. Charles Barkley. I love Charles because he went on Jay Leno and dogged me, saying I play golf so bad it made him quit the game. [Told the correct answer is Tiger.] Did you know he's played golf with Romano? I can't get anybody in golf to play with me. I also can't believe Tiger ever choked. Raymond has hope, after all.

GD / At 6-feet-8, you're one of the taller stars on network TV. Who was the tallest winner of the Masters?
(A: George Archer, 6-feet-5.)

BG / Nell Carter from "Gimme a Break"? [Told Archer, who died at age 65 in 2005.] See, big people don't live long. We're like Great Danes. We're sweet, but it's the ticker. You never see a 6-8 grandfather. My time is limited, and you people at Golf Digest can help make a difference.

GD / Which number is greater: Tiger's consecutive-cuts streak that ended on May 13, 2005, or the number of episodes of "Everybody Loves Raymond," which aired its finale three days later, on May 16, 2005?
(A: 210 episodes; 142 cuts made.)

BG / It has to be Tiger. [Told "Raymond."] Interesting. I haven't met Tiger, but I did follow him in the gallery once and yell, "I'm having your baby! It's a boy, and it's a big Filipino!"

GD / In your TV show on Fox " 'til Death" you live in Philadelphia, which is 30 minutes from America's No. 1 course, according to Golf Digest. Name it.
(A: Pine Valley Golf Club.)

BG / Dogwood Links? I'm a member at El Caballero [in Tarzana, Calif.], which we call "El Jew." I can say that. I'm Jewish. The members are all old people and their parents. [Imitates Rodney Dangerfield.] They don't have a starter there, they have a finisher.

GD / At age 23, you were one of the youngest comedians to appear on "The Tonight Show" starring Johnny Carson. On what late-night talk show did Masters champion Zach Johnson appear?
(A: "Late Show with David Letterman.")

BG / Letterman. He didn't wear the green jacket, did he? Why would you do that? Who wears a green jacket if you're not spanking a hooker?

GD / You played Hugh Grant's business manager/friend in the movie "Music and Lyrics" earlier this year...

BG / Did you see the movie? You did? Where do I send you the 10 dollars and 50 cents?

GD / In 1984, you were the first comic to win $100,000 on "Star Search." The PGA Tour's version of star search is a three-stage tournament that concludes every December. What's it called?
(A: Q school.)

BG / Is that the "What's That Smell?" tournament? [Told Q school.] You know, you're a real know-it-all, and I'm tired of it.