Dear Diary

How the Ryder Cup was won (and how it was lost), from the front line

The U.S. celebrates their Ryder Cup victory

Azinger, Holmes, Weekley, Leonard, Mahan and Kim celebrate the first U.S. Ryder Cup victory since 1999.

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By Dan Jenkins

Photo By Donald Miralle

December 2008

Excerpts from various diaries written about the 37th Ryder Cup Putting Matches at Valhalla in Kentucky, which, in case you missed the result because of distractions of the economy, the election, post-Olympics withdrawal, no Tiger Woods, football season, baseball season and Sarah Palin, was won by the United States for the first time in the 21st century:

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BY NICK FALDO
EUROPEAN CAPTAIN

So they call me dumb—so what? I can live with it. I'm richer than anybody in the media. They said I was dumb for not putting Colin Montgomerie and Darren Clarke on my team? Old warhorses? Players with experience? Well, I had three experienced warhorses on my team—Sergio Garcia, Paddy Harrington and Lee Westwood—and what did those whining ninnies do for me?

I'll tell you what they did for me: They didn't win a single point. They got me four halves, is all. Big deal. Halve this, Sergio. And wake up, Lee. It's over.

And Paddy, I guess you're only good at winning majors, huh? Fine. Let's see you win one when Sergio doesn't dump it in your lap, and you only have to beat a 53-year-old man to win another one.

All I know is, there was a lot of to-ing and fro-ing out there, and in the middle of it, Harrington lost three points for my team.

I wasn't dumb taking Ian Poulter, was I? OK, maybe I looked dumb when he shanked the wedge into the water on 13 in the first match and blew a 3-up lead for himself and Justin Rose, and they wound up losing to some pair, I forget who; I was riding with my son in a cart.

But Poulter fought back. He won four points for me the rest of the way. Without him, it's all over by noon Saturday—and what would that have done for reality TV on Sunday?

Speaking of dumb, how dumb was Paul Azinger, my counterpart? First he told people everywhere, all over town, to cheer when we missed putts. Very sportsmanlike. Then after he caught a hot pair in Justin Leonard and Hunter Mahan—they won two matches and halved another—he split them up Saturday afternoon. Undefeated, on a roll, and he split them up! Benched Leonard and put Mahan with Phil Mickelson, who was so off his game he couldn't find the golf course on his hands and knees.

‘The crowd was definitely part of the combat. We were combatibating with the gallery.’

But Azinger lucked out. After blowing a lead, Mahan and Lefty grabbed a halve with my Swedes, whatever their names are.

How did Bernie Gallacher and Sam Torrance ever captain a winning Ryder Cup team for Europe? They never won a major. I don't get it.

I shouldn't have taken this job. It was embarrassing for my career.

***
BY PAUL AZINGER
USA CAPTAIN

I knew the media said we were dumb and dumber. Nick and I talked about it. I said I was sorry he was so dumb not to have Colin and Darren on his team. He said he was sorry I was dumb enough to pick J.B. Holmes. I said I guess that made Johnny Miller dumb, too. Miller said Holmes was a mistake. I said I was sorry Nick was so dumb, but not Miller. Nick said he was as sorry as I was. I said I was sorrier than he was. He said OK, we're both sorry. Our conversation made me want to watch "Dr. Strangelove" again.

Nick said I was dumb for playing all 12 on Friday, trying to be fair. I said he would have played all 12 of his if somebody named Oliver Wilson hadn't been on his team.

He said I was dumb for benching Anthony Kim Saturday afternoon. I said I had to rest him for the singles—he was hunchback from carrying Mickelson around through three matches. I think this made me smart because Anthony came out Sunday and whiplashed Sergio.