Another One Gets Away

GRAND (STAND) DREAMS: Mickelson reciprocated the warmth of the fans who showered him with chants and cheers during an emotional championship. Photo: Darren Carroll

But further reflection brought more tolerance. Given the personal crisis he is facing, it is impossible to deny Mickelson performed gamely. His enthusiasm for the surroundings, his competitive resilience, and his ferocity of expressions made it clear he had been playing for something bigger than himself. Perhaps as much as the pressure of winning the Open, his desperation to give his wife the most special gift he could muster had caused him to try too hard.

"The guy's got guts," said Mickelson's longtime caddie, Jim Mackay. "He was really digging deep this week ... really deep. He never stopped fighting."

Steve Loy, Mickelson's agent, acknowledged how motivated Phil was to win for his wife, who stayed at home in Rancho Santa Fe, Calif., with their three children. "Phil is an emotional person on the inside who I've never seen emotional on the outside," said Loy. "This one's going to hurt. It will be a quiet flight home. But the way he is and the way she will make it, they will be over it the minute he gets off the airplane."

Indeed, Mickelson showed nothing like the devastation he felt in the aftermath of his 72nd-hole double bogey at Winged Foot, but rather a philosophical calmness. "Certainly I'm disappointed, but now that it's over, I've got more important things going on, and ... oh well," he said. "I think maybe it's more in perspective for me because I don't feel ... I feel different this time."

It was a week -- because of the dreary weather, protracted playing schedule and often artless brand of bashing and gouging golf -- that felt different for everybody. In the end it was Mickelson's story that provided much of the impetus and energy.

In his Open tuneup at Memphis, Mickelson talked about the way he had been affected by his wife's illness, first diagnosed in April, with an openness rare for a professional athlete. "I've never been this emotional, where if I'm driving alone or what have you, I'll just start crying," he admitted.

Mickelson's challenge at Bethpage was to suppress and/or channel those emotions into concentration and competitive fire. At his press conference Wednesday, having spent the day before at home in California celebrating his 39th birthday with family and friends, he seemed uncertain that he could.

"I'm not sure," he said. "I'm putting everything I have into this week because I don't anticipate being able to play for a little while." However, he struggled with his composure when he was asked about his wife. "I don't know how to express how lucky I am," he said. "She doesn't have a mean bone in her body. She thinks about others first. She genuinely is concerned and cares about everybody that she comes in contact with. ... And for me she's just the most amazing spouse you can imagine. ... And she's made my life so enjoyable to live. It's just hard for me to see her go through this, but we're going to get through this together. And it's a great opportunity for me to be there for her, and it's brought us closer."

Mackay said his player's demeanor reminded him of Pinehurst in 1999, a time when Amy was due to give birth to the first of their three children. "I remember him saying right before that if playing meant he was going to risk not being present for the birth, then he was just going to win the tournament," said Mackay. Mickelson, who led by one with three to play, finished second to Payne Stewart.

But for all his determination, it was still the propensity for loose shots a plague throughout Mickelson's career -- that undermined him at Bethpage. In the first round he was rolling along smoothly at one under par when, on the birdieable par-5 13th, he took out an 18-degree hybrid to play safe from the tee and severely pull-hooked the shot into a stroke-and-distance penalty. Although he was able to avert disaster with a one-putt bogey and finish with 69, the shot presaged several wild shots that led to bogeys and worse.