The other bottle was an instant test for all the really, really bad drugs. I was ruled negative for cocaine, amphetamines, methamphetamines, opiates, PCP, barbiturates, benzodiazepines, methadone and ecstasy. While I was also negative for cannabinoids, the line was faint and could have required further testing or, as my lab tech put it, “Oh, wow, man.”
Everyone who knows me knows my recreational drug of choice comes in a pint glass with a head the size of a bishop’s collar. If they had been testing for Hook & Ladder Backdraft Brown, I was sunk. If, however, there was even the slightest chance I could test positive for marijuana, the only conceivable explanation would have been secondhand smoke from a Procol Harum concert in Cleveland in November 1972.
That’s why I’m convinced now more than ever the tour will need to show a little discretion and some things should forever remain a whiter shade of pale.
- Text Size:
- Small Text
- Medium Text
- Large Text
