November 12, 2007
We've reached the point in the year when some of us are so bored with our home course that we're actually willing to pay to play somewhere else. Five years ago, that might have meant driving an hour and spending $125 on some mogul farm with three blind greens and the world's ditziest cart girl. The upscale daily-fee business isn't what it used to be, however, so a lot of these same places have slashed their rates in an attempt to avoid a half-empty tee sheet.
It's all the more reason for them to nickel and dime you. My favorite tack-on expense is the $8 laminated course guide always positioned inches from the cash register, followed by the $6 bucket of range balls, the $3.50 bottle of Gatorade and the $4 divot-repair tool. Shouldn't they give those away, or better yet, deduct 15 cents from my bill every time I fix a pitch mark?
Perhaps I shouldn't whine too loudly. At some courses in Scotland, they give you a scorecard free of charge but tag you for the pencil. You think I'm kidding? They can get real funny over there.
When I called one of the snazzier local publics last week to make a Wednesday afternoon tee time, Polly Pro Shop turned the procedure into a three-act play. In addition to the names of everyone in our foursome, she wanted my address and zip code, then asked for a credit-card number, at which point the Angry Golfer realized his nickels and dimes were under heavy siege.
Polly explained that if we didn't show up, my card would be charged the full $260, or $65 per man. The conversation soon ended, although I should have asked her to call me if the four walk-ups who took our vacant spot needed a couple of $8 yardage books.
Columns by The Angry Golfer -- a.k.a. Golf World columnist John Hawkins -- appear exclusively on GolfDigest.com.- Text Size:
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