August 2, 2007
Of all the godforsaken fashion staples that have helped golf preserve its eccentric character, I wouldn't have bet on saddle shoes to stand the test of time, even in a game that walks to the closet with two left feet. Despite a strong personal preference for sneakers with spikes, I remain in the vast minority when it comes to on-course footwear. Never mind you'd watch a "Big Break" marathon before showing up for the Wednesday night poker game in a pair of two-tone kicks straight from an all-girls Catholic school.
Not that it makes a boatload of difference to me what you lace up for your most enjoyable leisure hours. Maybe more golfers would eschew carts if they weren't sentenced to a pair of leather blister-breeders that went cold during the Ward Cleaver era. A sockhop? Knock yourself out. A five-mile trek over God's finest pesticide-protected earth? Even Rico Suave knew not to mix peanut butter and mayonnaise.
One might have seen this problem solving itself when Nike and Adidas began making golf shoes with an athletic disposition -- something you could wear to the 7-Eleven without Minimum Wage Marty muffling a laugh. Now all the big companies offer a sporty alternative to your Uncle Ned's wingtips and those insufferable saddles, but middle-aged white guys simply don't go down without a fight.
That's why I've still got my outdated ducks. Besides, they go rather nicely with my plaid shorts.
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