Dan Jenkins At The Ryder Cup
Highlights of the "Ancient Twitterer" from the 2012 Ryder Cup at Medinah
Editor's Note: What does a meltdown of epic proportions look like through the eyes of World Golf Hall of Famer Dan Jenkins? Put it this way: he's not one to sugarcoat. What follows is a sampling of tweets from Jenkins, AKA the "Ancient Twitterer," from a wild week in Chicago.
"This is my fifth time at Medinah after two U.S. Opens and two PGAs, and the clubhouse still looks like the Babylon Marriott. "
"Under the old PGA of America rules, Nicklaus didn't play a Ryder Cup until 1969, when he'd won 7 majors. Must have flunked sweater-folding."
"My first Ryder Cup was '75, when it seemed like an exhibition. Maybe because Brian Barnes was smoking a pipe while beating Nicklaus twice."
"In '99 at Brookline, George & Barbara Bush came to see me. Tiny, the longtime guard at the media center, had to be convinced to let them in."
"My first Ryder Cup (1975), there were maybe 30 writers. This year, at any moment there are that many waiting in the cookie line."
"Got to wonder about the U.S. home-field advantage in the Ryder Cup. Americans are 5-3 at home since '79, barely winning in '83, '91 and '99."
"I'm told the U.S. team outweighs the Euros by more than 10 pounds per man (184 and change to 174), so I like America in an all-you-can-eat."
On the opening ceremony:
"Nine national anthems for the opening ceremony, which might go longer than some matches. The Spanish anthem goes extra holes by itself."
"Olazabal doing his best after the Opening Ceremony went 6 down after the first six holes."
"Still trying to figure out the color of the European sweaters. Looks like they were going for lime and didn't quite make it."
"Keegan Bradley's pre-shot routine? He kind of looks like the kid at the pool who's not quite ready to go off the high board the first time."
"Idle thought: The U.S. team's blue pants with the horizontal and vertical stripes? I've got pajamas like that."
"When Davis gets back to the hotel he's going to have 11 guys saying,'I want to play with Keegan.' But Phil can say, 'I found him first.'"
"The biggest momentum-changer at majors? It's usually when the press' lunchroom switches over to the afternoon snack."
"Practical joke for Davis tonight: Pull Phil aside, tell him you have a hunch, and you're pairing him with Tiger twice tomorrow."
On Tiger Woods' strugges off the tee:
"After all the spectators Tiger has hit this week, he's going out this afternoon with a caddie, a nurse and an ambulance."
"Hearing reports that Tiger had some problem hitting his mouth with fries at lunch. Some went left, and some went way right."
"New TV ad: Fans hold signed glove & repeat, 'I've been hit by Tiger Woods...I've been hit by Tiger Woods...I'VE been hit by Tiger Woods.'"
"One theory why Tiger didn't sit after the erratic display this morning: Maybe one of those stray drives hit Davis in the head."