BOMB: Oh those crazy Canadians.

One of our co-workers just passed along the following gem, suggesting it might be blog fodder. It's from Callaway Golf Canada and it puts forth that "the answers to a series of fun, lighthearted -- and telling -- multiple choice questions will lead golfers to discover the new 2009 Callaway driver that best suits individuals based on their personality."

Excuse me?

Let's try that again. They will fit you into a driver not by your swing but by your personality trait? It's not just that the hard work of all your engineers goes right out the window, it's that a company that clearly has one of the most innovative fitting systems in the business seems more interested in the touchy-feely stuff instead of legitimate science and technology. "I'm a brute! A basher!" "Get that man a Diablo! Oh wait, you mean he'd be better off with the FT-9? Screw it! His personality screams Diablo!"

They'll even give you an incentive to make a direct purchase. Their website says, "Consumers who register to pre-purchase their driver on the WhatsYourCallaway.ca microsite are eligible to receive a dozen complimentary Callaway golf balls upon confirmation of their order." Nice touch, boys.

In our Golf Digest Hot List we put forth the benefits of being properly fit time and time again. And in no club in the bag is that more critical -- or frankly, easier -- than the driver. I'm sure whatever little pop quiz this website offers (I tried to find it but couldn't) may be fun to see what it spits out, but anyone who actually goes out and purchases a driver on this information alone should have their handicap index revoked.

GOUGE: Oh, my un-hip, set-in-his-ways, soooo 20th-century friend. Get with the program, buddy. Golf isn't about serious, thoughtful consideration of the myriad technologies at our disposal. It's not about understanding how spin rates might be affected by one design structure vs. another. It certainly shouldn't involve something as complex as a launch monitor fitting and some detailed work with your local clubfitter. No, no and no. It's a lifestyle choice, like toothpaste or cologne or what you, er, find sexy about a woman.

I did find the so-called quiz, and it comes with a flashy guarantee so it must be legit: (WARNING: NOT ANSWERING THESE 10 QUESTIONS MAY RESULT IN YOU HAVING TO GO THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITHOUT EVER HAVING KNOWN THE PERFECT DRIVER FOR YOU!) Still, there's nothing in here about shot shape or swing speed or typical trajectory. Not a measurement to be found. Great. Why mess up the search for my new driver with numbers? Let's just get to the real important stuff, like whether my favorite color is Red, Orange or Black (Question 3) or whether I prefer Commando, Boxers or Briefs (Question 7) or whether women are sexiest in Skinny Jeans and a Silk Top, a Little Black Dress or -- I am not making this up -- their Birthday Suit (Question 9)?

Well, provided what you find sexy about a woman involves what she's wearing instead of, well, maybe having a conversation with her. Oh, right, now I get it, choosing the proper driver requires you to be a brain-dead horn-dog. Well, I guess that would make it easier.

Did they steal those multiple choice questions from eHarmony.com? There's even a query wondering what's in the drawer of my bedside table where one of the possible answers is "warming gel and a digital camera." Now, I don't get out much, but I'm pretty sure warming gel is something different than grip solvent. Then again, maybe it isn't.

Here's the thing: If even equipment companies have decided to reduce golf equipment purchases to some sort of wheel of fortune/party game enterprise, rather than a considered investigation, why should we really believe that today's technology is improved over last year's? Or is it just that selling anything comes first, regardless of whether it has any genuine legitimate benefit for this particular consumer? I know, I know. Lighten up, Francis. Live a little. Grab a little gusto. Have a little fun. I'm all for fun, but marketing efforts like this don't enhance the message, they destroy it. They essentially make the claim that there is no other reason to gravitate toward a driver other than your answer to the question "When was the last time you cried," and one of the answers to choose from is "Never."

For what it's worth, choosing "Never" apparently makes you an FT-9 man, as long as you went with the Little Black Dress, too.