We think Mr. Flair has the details backward, but we'll chalk that up to artistic license. Check out the NSFW -- just for the lyrics since Flair is the only person to appear in the low-budget production -- music video in which he says "Tiger" or "Tiger Woods" about 768 times in less than two minutes. And yet, we can't stop listening. . .
Pickett, the Director of Golf at the private Stonewater Golf Club in Highland Heights, Ohio, has gained notoriety in recent years for his stunning pumpkin carvings. So much so that he has extra time off during the fall written into his contract and he's set up a website to start selling his Halloween creations called "Illuminated Carves."
Here are his takes on Jack Nicklaus and Tiger Woods:
See? We told you they were good. So how did it all start? A friendly competition.
"I've always been artistic and Halloween is my favorite time of year. I was in a contest with a friend and he was beating me. And then I found out how to carve a face," Pickett said.
The technique Pickett discovered took him two hours to complete and used two kinds of knives. With plenty of practice, he has shaved half the time off the process and has switched to using pumpkins made of foam.
"When someone buys a pumpkin, it's about the time it takes me," said Pickett, who stays busy through the holiday season fulfilling orders. "No one's going to spend money on something that's going to rot. It's a really nice piece and it lasts forever."
Being based in Ohio, Pickett says his most popular sports carvings are of LeBron James, Ohio State, and the Cleveland Browns, "since they're actually playing football this season." Of non-sports figures, Pickett says John Wayne, Marilyn Monroe and Heath Ledger's "The Joker" (Pickett's personal favorite carve) are best sellers.
People can choose from pumpkins Pickett has already carved or have one custom-made. He typically charges $80 to $100 and the orders have really started to pick up in 2014 thanks mainly to being a feature vendor at Ohio's annual Circleville Pumpkin Show and having a month-long display at the Horseshoe Casino in Cleveland. You may have seen his work on Golf Channel sets at last year's Presidents Cup and on recent episodes of "Morning Drive" and "Golf Central."
"I never in a million years thought it would get this big," said Pickett, who estimates he'll sell 350 pumpkins this year, up from 162 in 2013. "I love seeing people's reactions to what I do."
He'll get to see more reactions when he carves for three hours at Quicken Loans Arena leading up to the Cleveland Cavaliers' home opener on Thursday night. The pumpkins he carves will be raffled off during the game.
"I enjoy every carve I do," Pickett said. "It's very independent. Just like going out to play golf by yourself. It's very pleasing and entertaining."
"'I mean, freakin' look at some of this stuff: I don't even golf.' Someone had paid over seven thousand dollars for a set of clubs. 'Anyone can tell you: I really don't golf.'"
1. Ray Rice/Roger Goodell: A heinous, indefensible act seems to have led to an embarrassing cover up. Ray Rice, Roger Goodell and the entire NFL all look bad right now. We'll leave it at that.
2. Apple: The tech juggernaut had a live-streamed "release event" Wednesday in which it unveiled new products that are set to hit the market soon: two iPhone 6s, a touchscreen watch, and a payment system that probably has Paypal a little nervous. Despite the Twitter frenzy and the standing ovations, I have no plans to rush out and buy either of the first two, but you should (they can even help your golf game!). Sincerely, Guy who owns shares of APPL stock.
This guy looks SUPER pumped for the release of the iPhone 6.
3. Billy Horschel: He's not the best player on the PGA Tour, but he might be the most honest. After winning the BMW Championship, Horschel said, "If I were a betting man, I'd put a little money on me" at this week's Tour Championship. Then he said that even if his wife went into labor with the couple's first child, he wouldn't leave Atlanta and pass up a chance to win the FedEx Cup's $10 million bonus. Before you get all high and mighty and take Horschel to task, would you really not do the same thing if you had a chance to more than double your career earnings in one day?
4. Fabrizio Zanotti: If you don't know the name, just know he was a European Tour player who got hit in the forehead by an errant tee shot Thursday during the KLM Open. Fortunately, Zanotti, who was rushed to a hospital, is OK. More so, we'd like to highlight two other players, Felipe Aguilar and Ricardo Gonzalez, who withdrew from the tournament to go to the hospital with their friend. The moral of the story? Keep your head on a swivel when you're out on the course, always yell "Fore!" and play with friends who aren't going to keep playing if you get hurt.
5. "Breaking Bad": After years of saying I'd give this highly acclaimed TV show a chance, I finally did. Less than three weeks later -- and after signing up for a free one-month Netflix trial -- I finished the entire series, showing about as much control as the Meth Heads in it. One word: MASTERPIECE. "The Wire" remains my No. 1 drama of all-time (is there anyone who has watched that show and said otherwise?), but "Breaking Bad" might have supplanted "The Sopranos" as my No. 2. Agree? Disagree? More importantly, does anyone have any other TV suggestions? I'm going through Walter White withdrawal. . .