The Local Knowlege

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Let's be clear here: Some No. 1 rankings are NOT open for debate

By Sam Weinman

With so much talk these days about a new player taking over as No. 1 in the world -- one of five players could end the week in the top spot -- we thought it was important to clarify: the ranking in question is for the No. 1 GOLFER in the world. Because some titles, it should be stressed, are not in question.

For instance . . .

No. 1 at goofy thumbs ups.

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No. 1 at deadpan, faraway gazes.

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No. 1 at gazes that would freak you out.

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No. 1 at weeping as if you just watched the end of "Titanic".

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No. 1 at being in the top 5.

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No. 1 at being visible from outer space.

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No. 1 at misguided attempts at humor on Twitter.

876f3840-9e67-11e3-af04-97a3a7ab62c7_e0225sam.jpg

No. 1 at life.

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No. 1 at pants.

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No. 1 at whatever this is (tie).

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