By Alex Myers
Welcome to a Golden Globes edition of The Grind, where we've got a hot script idea that the Hollywood Foreign Press is going to love. A professional golfer toils in obscurity for more than a decade before magically morphing into his sport's best player. Not juicy enough? How about we give him a really cool name, like, oh, Jimmy Walker? Yeah, that sounds good. Leo? Scorsese? Any takers?
Jimmy Walker: What a run this guy is on! Every time I see/hear his name, I think of the Ben Folds Five song, "Eddie Walker," and I change it to Jimmy. "Ohhhh, Jimmy Walker, this is your life! You never had a coat or a tie! You never had a reason to cry!" I'm not sure all of that's true, but that will be the title song for the aforementioned upcoming biopic in which audiences will fall in love with a man who is an astrophotographer (true story) and whose wife, Erin, is a nationally-ranked horse rider/show jumper (again, true story). They'll also enjoy the scene from the 2014 Sony Open in which Walker shoots a final-round 63 to win for the second time in six starts.
Don't look now, but Walker's, um, meteoric rise has him first on both the FedEx Cup and Ryder Cup points lists. "Ohhhh, Jimmy Walker, ahhh, ahhh, ahhh, ahhh, this is your life!" We'll have to work on the rest of the plot/song lyrics, but we've got a good start.
Albatrosses: Or double eagles if you want to rile up certain people. Regardless of what you call them, being three under on a single hole is awesome and very rare. Well, on any day other than last Friday. For what is believed to be the first time ever, the feat was recorded on both the PGA Tour (James Hahn) and the European Tour (Joost Luiten) on the same day. These guys are too good.
Harris English: One of the newest members of the Callaway equipment family finished solo fourth at Waialae CC in just his second start with his new sticks. In other words, maybe we shouldn't go crazy the next time a high-profile player changes gear. . .
Louis Oosthuizen: The South African successfully defended his title at the Volvo Champions. And to top off another trophy and a big check, Oosthuizen got to celebrate by riding a tractor! We're not kidding. The man loves tractors.
Tim Clark: On a serious note, we hope his latest elbow injury isn't serious. That being said, when we picked him as our "one-and-done" player of the week, we didn't think he'd take it so literally and withdraw after the first round. At least we also tabbed Jimmy Walker ("Ohhhh Jimmy Walker, this is your life!" Sorry, couldn't help it.) as a top sleeper before the start of the season. How's that working out?
James Hahn: How do we sell a guy who made an albatross? When that guy only manages to finish T-46. Joost Luiten didn't win in South Africa, but at least he parlayed his double eagle into a T-3. Oh, and Hahn, who is best known for doing the Psy "Gagnam Style" dance at last year's Phoenix Open, didn't even whip that out after holing the unlikely shot. A real opportunity missed there, James.
Nominating yourself for SportsCenter: On Monday night, Bubba Watson posted this video of him holing a putt on a private jet and doing the ESPN SportsCenter "dadada, dadada" theme to get that show's attention. We're not sure if it worked yet, but we prefer non-manufactured sports moments getting air time. You know, like a certain lefty golfer hooking a wedge out of the woods and onto the green to win the Masters. . .
Tan lines: Specifically, really, really bad tan lines. On your head. A grainy (and probably somewhat distorted) picture of Stewart Cink's distinct two-toned dome taken off of Thursday's TV coverage of the Sony Open wound up getting more attention than the tournament itself. To Cink's credit, he handled the situation incredibly well on Twitter: "Apparently my glowing head has received some attention today. It's nice to be (in) the spotlight." Well played, Stewart. Now go buy some spray tan.
After two weeks in Hawaii, the PGA Tour heads to the mainland for the Humana Challenge, aka the old Bob Hope. Unfortunately, the field in Palm Springs isn't particularly strong -- not even for its once famous celebrity pro-am. Oh, Holly Sonders is playing? Never mind. That's pretty strong.
Random tournament fact: This event's three courses were ranked the three easiest on the PGA Tour last year. In other words, the word "Challenge" should be taken lightly.
RANDOM PROP BETS OF THE WEEK
-- Jimmy Walker will finish the season first on the FedEx Cup points list: 100-to-1 odds
-- Someone will shoot 59 in Palm Springs: Even odds
-- Holly Sonders will draw a bigger crowd than defending champ Brian Gay: LOCK
THIS WEEK IN DUSTIN JOHNSON-PAULINA GRETZKY PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION
DJ is teaching Paulina how to play golf! And it actually looks like it's going well. No, seriously, Paulina Gretzky has a good golf swing. Check it out.
"Gettin a little better thanks to my coach djohnsonpga <3" Aww. But when is coach going to teach you his bowed left wrist at the top?
PHOTO OF THE WEEK
What? We can double dip with Paulina since this wasn't technically a public display of affection between our two favorite lovebirds! This photo does include DJ, but also The Great One, Wayne Gretzky, and Mrs. Great One, Janet Jones. The four posed while celebrating Jones' birthday. Wait, that's what Paulina wears to celebrate her mom's birthday? Poor Wayne. We guess it shouldn't be too surprising, though, considering she wore this last year to her little brother's birthday bash.
VIRAL VIDEO OF THE WEEK (BEST SHOT DIVISION)
Man, the competition was steep last week. We saw two albatrosses, but the best shot was Charl Schwartzel's unbelievable recovery shot from a road (yes, a road) that has to be seen to be believed:
See Bubba, that's a SportsCenter-worthy shot.
VIRAL VIDEO OF THE WEEK (WHAT THE...? DIVISION)
Nobody seems to know all the details, but a man fell through the ceiling of a pro shop -- and nobody there made a big deal about it.
THIS AND THAT
Peter Kostis announced he's healthy again and that he plans to return to work roaming the fairways for CBS soon. Great news. Now get that Konica Minolta BizHub SwingVision machine cranking! . . . The daughter of former college basketball star Teddy Dupay has her own golf business. She's 11. We're impressed. . . . And speaking of the Golden Globes, my new go-to dessert (above) was inspired by recently binge-watching "The Sopranos" for the first time. I call it the "Tony Soprano Sundae," because it's what James Gandolfini (rest in peace) would often make in the show after a tough day of money laundering, gambling, murdering, etc. Ice cream (preferably chocolate and mint chocolate chip), whipped cream and M&Ms. MMM, those are good.
RANDOM QUESTIONS TO PONDER
Why hasn't Will Ferrell ever won a Golden Globe?
Will a golf movie ever win a Golden Globe?
Why have I gained a few pounds lately? Oh. Right.