Much to my dismay, there is no video or photographic evidence of the following, but it's still worth sharing.
This past Sunday, a 57-year-old Holiday, Fla. man was seen attacking an abandoned pizza delivery car that was left in the rising floodwaters caused by Tropical Storm Debby. According to the Miami Herald, neighbors told deputies they saw Larry Norman Hill of Cape Cod Drive, "completely naked" and "smashing the stranded vehicle with a golf club." The side mirror was knocked off. The headlight ripped out. The roof caved in. The doors were opened, letting floodwater inside.
Now, if you're like me, after reading that you immediately assumed he was the next house on the delivery route before the car was left stranded. But it seems like ol' Larry was after a little more than just pizza.
After a witness confronted Hill and asked him "how would he like it if someone did that to his car," the police report states, Hill "told him it was his car now."
When the pizza delivery woman went back to retrieve her 1999 Pontiac Grand Am on Monday, she saw the damage and called the Sheriff's Office. Apparently it didn't take long for neighbors to point out Hill, who was found walking -- clothed -- with a putter.
When questioned about the incident, Hill told a deputy he was on the car's roof because he thought a baby was inside "and wanted to save it," the report says. "I asked him why he opened the doors to the vehicle and he told me he wanted to air it out."
Hill was charged with criminal mischief and held on $1,000 bail. No word yet on the make or model of the putter.
-- Derek Evers